An unexpected compliment from a stranger reminded me of my self-worth

The other night I found myself chatting to a lovely man at a function. He began the conversation by making me laugh and within minutes we were engaged in easy conversation. And then, it happened.

“You know you have the most beautiful smile,” he said. “I noticed it from across the room and really wanted to meet you.”

Gulp!

Suddenly I seemed to heat up a good 20 degrees as words to quickly correct his compliment rapidly percolated; to let him know that my smile probably entails food stuck in my teeth, which, by the way, are stained from my lifelong love of coffee and red wine …

But here’s the really interesting part of this story. Those words didn’t come out of my mouth. I didn’t tell him I was unworthy of such a comment, or, as I have routinely done in the past, say that if we stood under a bright light he would likely scream and run away, fast.

I didn’t immediately think I had to reject his flattery with self-deprecation in order not to appear vain, to humble myself and deny my worth. Instead – are you ready for this? – I simply said: “Thank you. That is a lovely thing to say.” And damn, I was proud of myself.

I realised at that moment that I have changed. Negative self-talk and I are no longer friends. With the passing of the years, I have not only grown to like myself, I am ready to accept that others just might, too.

It has taken a long time to get to this place and it is a destination well worth striving for, let me tell you.

While I would still not describe myself as a great beauty, that doesn’t matter. I have reached a lovely state of calm about who I am, which I believe is a good, honest woman with a big heart. Looks do not define me, but what I project to others does. And if this man saw me as someone with a warm, inviting smile then dammit, I will accept that with good grace.