Ask Amy: Grandparents want house rules for extended stay

She is coming to stay with us to work for a year and establish residency in our state, which is awash in good quality public universities.

We are excited to have her come live with us. I want the experience to be positive, but I know clear expectations are important.

She has spent time with us each summer, so we know each other fairly well.

My husband and I drew up a list of things that we expected from her: Getting a job, taking care of her bedroom and bathroom, learning to drive and to use public transportation, no male overnight guests, house sit when we take short trips — things like that.

We do not expect her to pay rent; we are doing this because college is insanely expensive, and we want to help.

What are some pitfalls we should be aware of?

Is there an important point we are missing?

We really want this to work out!

Dear Grammy: I lived with family members during my first year of college, and I will always look back on that time with extreme gratitude. I also wonder if I did enough while I was with them to ease their burden for housing, feeding, and basically taking such good care of me.