My husband confronted his mom yesterday and it led to an argument. She will not listen to reason and refuses to acknowledge her behavior.
I want my children to have a relationship with her, but the amount of stress it causes almost isn’t worth it. Please help!
Dear Tired: Some of your MIL’s behavior points to problems beyond being difficult or reactive. Regardless, you and your husband have tried the rational approach.
It seems that your only remaining option is to actually deliver some consequences.
Despite the way she may perceive her rights and privileges, grandparents don’t have an automatic right to be with their grandchildren, certainly when both parents are alive, together, and making reasonable choices regarding the best interests of their family.
I hear from heartbroken grandparents every day who are denied access to their grandchildren, and who wonder why.
In your case, you have understandable and valid reasons not to have this volatile woman spend time alone with two very young children.
I suggest that you let her know that she is welcome to visit your household to see the children when you are home — but until her behavior stabilizes and she treats you with respect, she won’t be spending time alone with them.
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