How to get people’s pronouns right and what to do if you slip up

In 2019, Merriam-Webster updated its entry for “they” to include the nonbinary pronoun among its definitions. It also named “they” its word of the year.

Here it is in an example sentence, from Merriam-Webster: “I knew certain things about … the person I was interviewing…. They had adopted their gender-neutral name a few years ago, when they began to consciously identify as nonbinary — that is, neither male nor female. They were in their late 20s, working as an event planner, applying to graduate school.”

Using “they” to refer to an individual isn’t just a case of political correctness, either.

Sakurai said they’ve been in spaces where this has been a practice for decades.

“It might be something that people are now becoming more aware of in more mainstream, broader spaces, but it’s not something that’s a new conversation for trans people or even for some people in the LGBT community sometimes,” Sakurai told CNN in 2019.

Often, someone will outright tell you what pronouns they’d like for you to call them. If so, respect that.

If a person hasn’t shared their pronouns and there’s any doubt as to what they are, don’t just guess. Instead, Sakurai suggested continuing to refer to that person by their name until you get more clarity.