‘It was confronting’: What nearly destroyed Andy Lee and Rebecca Harding

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She is my go-to for testing out jokes. She’ll say, “People will get angry about that”, or “That’s not particularly funny”. I had a joke about O. J.  Simpson and she’s like, “I’m not sure if that’s appropriate.” I only realised how much I lean on her when we spent three months apart last year when I was filming The Hundred in Sydney [season two screens until March 29 on Nine]. It was an eye-opener to realise how much she slips in and helps. I lean on Bec a lot.

We’ve just bought a house, an 1876 house in Hawthorn with no running water, no bathroom, no kitchen. It’s one hell of an undertaking, but renovations are good for relationships, right?

I don’t see the age difference at all, except when she doesn’t understand Back to the Future quotes. My view on relationships is that there isn’t “the one”. I think that’s a scary mindset, because you might lose that person: they leave you, or something terrible happens, like their passing. I think we have many “ones”, but it’s rare to find them. I’ve always felt that if I was too old or annoying for Bec, I’d be devastated, but it wouldn’t be the end of my life. But I do love her to bits.

Rebecca: I wasn’t interested in dating anyone, especially not this guy off the TV, but my friend said he seemed nice and at least I’d have a good story. Andy’s got this energy where you can’t help but feel great around him. But I was a uni student working in a café and he was one of Australia’s most celebrated talents. I felt he wouldn’t be interested in me.

He called me five minutes after I sent the email, a real keen bean. I was surprised he didn’t text; I only spoke on the phone to my grandma and my parents. It was refreshing. We went on our first date, and then there were dates for five consecutive days. I realised he’s really normal. Andy as I know him now is Andy from that first date. We share values, family is important to both of us and we get on really well.

Our relationship was fun and exciting at the start, but then I got insecure and miserable. There were times we had people following us and photographers outside the house and that was daunting. I was starting my career and doubting myself and my ability. Did I get this job because of who I’m dating? I’d make friends and wonder, do they actually like me? I struggled. Andy and I ended up having a break in 2016.

“I was starting my career and doubting myself and my ability. Did I get this job because of who I’m dating?”

I spent six months reminding myself: “I’m good, I’m talented.” I kept my job. I kept my friends. I got my spark back and we got back together.

When Andy was 15, his mum was unwell. They thought she had two weeks to live and she was in hospital for a long time. She made it through, and I think that experience helped make him a kind, generous, life-living person, but you can see that pain sometimes. He knows you can lose someone tomorrow. I’ve softened him over the years: he never used to celebrate birthdays, he was never fussed about Christmas. He was like, “Why do we need Christmas wrapping paper when we’ve got birthday wrapping paper?” No.

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I feel as though Andy’s my best friend. We complement each other. I watch him love what he does every day. He is inspirational. He may work ridiculous hours, but seeing how much joy it brings has made me realise I should work towards creating a life doing what I want to do. He shows me that if you work hard and you’re a nice person, you can chase those dreams.

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