The surprising silver linings of having a baby in lockdown
But with no visitors to handball my second baby around, I took the opportunity to lap up those snuggles, holding her while she slept soundly and simply savouring the fleeting time I had with this precious little lady.
“Not having visitors all day for the mother and baby can be a blessing because the postnatal period is for recovery for both mother and baby,” says midwife Cath Curtin.
“A perpetual people pleaser, when family and friends reached for the sleeping bundle to give me a “break”, I’d hand him over, even as the lioness within me wanted to hold him tight and sniff his milky head.”
“Year ago visitors were only allowed in at certain times of the day. Now it seems to be all day for new parents [but] they need time to rest, recover and enjoy”.
Liz Wilkes, managing director of My Midwives, reports a sharp increase in breastfeeding success rates in Melbourne since the beginning of last year, which she says may be thanks to women having more time at home and fewer places to be.
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“Breastfeeding rates have improved astronomically – women have the time to just sit there and do it,” she says.
“It has blown me away and from a public health perspective, that’s a big deal.”
A new kind of mat leave
Wilkes and Curtin say that second and third-time mums tend to handle the prospect of a baby in lockdown better than first-time mums who understandably worry about going it alone.
“Most women are doing well. Some feel they miss the contact with friends and family visiting them and meeting the new baby,” Curtin says.
“COVID has created anxiety for all of us, in midwifery the new parents are anxious about the baby and COVID.”
Others have reported feeling deprived of the maternity leave they’d always envisioned, with new “parent group” catch-ups on Zoom instead of in community centres, local parks or cafes.
But it’s worth noting that lockdown does have some social upsides with online catch-ups sometimes being easier to attend when you don’t have to actually get dressed or find a babysitter.
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In my case, I got to catch up with my girlfriends for regular Friday night group FaceTimes, which I wouldn’t have been able to manage if it were at a bar or restaurant given my baby refused a bottle. This way, I’d have a cuppa and a chinwag, then log off in time for baby’s dream feed, a mere from my pillow.
Wilkes says another potential upside may be better rested new parents.
“They weren’t going anywhere or trying to do anything else [in Melbourne lockdowns] and once they’d melded into that, they were just having naps in the day,” she says.
“They were like, ‘I can only clean the house so many times’ – there was nothing else for them to do but sleep and we weren’t getting nearly the same levels of really intense sleep deprivation.”
Use the lessons of lockdown
While many Australians continue living in lockdown and stay-at-home orders remain possible for everyone else, Wilkes says it’s important for impending parents to have contingency plans in place, whether that’s having a midwife or lactation consultant’s details on hand for some approved at-home visits, or organising a medical certificate for a loved one to come and offer caregiving.
“We don’t know when the next lockdown is going to be – we are still in a very flux state, so knowing you have someone to call on in advance is reassuring,” she says.
And while none of us would probably choose to have a baby in strict lockdown, Curtin suggests trying to take some of the lessons on board, such as holding the baby as much as you want and getting plenty of rest.
“Women have reported enjoying that sitting, [finding] it’s actually OK to sit at home and get to know your baby and feed your baby, rather than walking around all day,” she points out.
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“When you have visitors, don’t feel pressure to ‘pass the parcel’ – hold your baby and other people can look. And when you are at home, the baby doesn’t have to be in a cot to sleep – babies settle better in your arms, and this time goes so quickly.”
And if you’re coming out of lockdown with a new baby, Wilkes suggests continuing with what has been working for you.
“What did you do when you could live by yourself and [just] please yourself?” she asks.
“If pleasing yourself was nursing your baby or dealing with things in a certain way, let’s hold onto that. Maybe ask, ‘Do I need visitors every day?’ For the first four to six weeks, recognise it is a time to slow down – it should be the slowest period of your life, really.”
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